i am but a moist robot programmed to sad and lol
(via porco-voador)
THAR HE BLOWS!
(or: Chuck and the Humpback)
It’s like a scene from Koyaanisqatsi, where something majestic shares one with something that’s not.
Muphry’s Law is an adage that states that “if you write anything criticizing editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written”. The name is a deliberate misspelling of “Murphy’s Law”.
The god-king of fruits is in season! Cracked me one open tonight.
Durians are diabolically mother effing delicious. Your blasphemous opinions, though they matter not, are welcome and tolerated. Have any?
I’m taking the one that pays less but is more interesting, has more opportunity for growth, and closer to my house.
Steal a helicopter. Dress like ninjas.
Show you have a sense of humour by placing a bag outside the cops’ helicopter hanger with the word BOMB written on it. This will stop the police chasing you in the sky.
Scatter small sharp objects on the roads around the bank you’re targeting to slow down approaching police cars.
Rather than targeting a regular bank, choose a facility that stores banknotes for them.
Get schematics of the building.
Plan the raid for the day before people get paid, so there’ll be lots of cash kicking around.
Hover the chopper over the bank while your men abseil in.
Have a pilot so good that authorities suspect military experience.
Set off some minor explosions to get to the cash.
Chuckle at the cops as they try to get into the fortified building using a battering ram.
Leave all the staff unharmed.
Return to the helicopter and fly into the pre-dawn sky.
Land the chopper in a field.
Disappear into the woods with the loot.
Roll around in your money.
Look at those birds on those wires.
Now imagine the birds are musical notes. What music would they make?
Listen.
Jou: “Back when I was an over-stressed and under-slept college student, I used to fill my sketchbook with drawings of people shot full of arrows, whenever I was having a bad day.”
Confession: I fantasize of such things when I have a bad day, with a choice of swords, iron rods, shuriken, or glass shards. Never arrows though, it’s a bit Ally McBeal.
Here’s one for the “how other countries view us” file.
This is from the website of Semana, which is Colombia’s version of Time or Newsweek. The English subtitles are mine.
“Mr. Jones,” a puppet who speaks Spanish with an atrocious gringo accent, vents his indignation that the Colombian presidential intelligence service (DAS) has been wiretapping the telephone conversations of officials at the U.S. Embassy.
Oh yes, loving this Spanish-as-a-second-or-third-language speaking gringo puppet.
